Fran Lebowitz

Showing quotations 1 to 18 of 18 total All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. Fran LebowitzAsk your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. Fran Lebowitz Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. Fran Lebowitz I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. Fran Lebowitz I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. Fran Lebowitz I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. Fran LebowitzIf you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail. Fran Lebowitz In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. Fran LebowitzLife is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. Fran Lebowitz My favorite animal is steak. Fran Lebowitz No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. Fran Lebowitz Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special. Fran LebowitzSuccess didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. Fran Lebowitz The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Fran LebowitzYour life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. Fran Lebowitz Humility is no substitute for a good personality. Fran Lebowitz, Metropolitan Life, 1978 Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies (1981)

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