P. J. O'Rourke

Showing quotations 1 to 16 of 16 total A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. P. J. O'RourkeA little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. P. J. O'RourkeAlways read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. P. J. O'Rourke Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system. P. J. O'RourkeFish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is. P. J. O'Rourke Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. P. J. O'Rourke Never fight an inanimate object. P. J. O'RourkeSkiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink. P. J. O'RourkeThe mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. P. J. O'Rourke The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free. P. J. O'RourkeThe weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. P. J. O'RourkeVery little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen. P. J. O'RourkeWhen buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. P. J. O'RourkeWith Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life. P. J. O'RourkeThere's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause. P. J. O'Rourke, Parliament of Whores (1991)The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting. P. J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners, 1983

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